Siren (siren_kacho) wrote in yna,
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ooo I found more. The wonderful things you find when you are cleaning out your hard drive

Treize-sama's Twelve Days of Gundam Wing
by Neko Chan
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On the first day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
A psychopathic secretary
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Treize-sama's Twelve Days of Gundam Wing
by Neko Chan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

On the first day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
A psychopathic secretary <Eep! Run!>
On the second day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Two jealous lovers <This is what I get for not planning ahead...>
And a psychopathic secretary <Definitely a nutbar.>

On the third day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Three uniform cloaks <Just what I always wanted!>
Two jealous lovers <Maybe we could threesome?>
And a psychopathic secretary <How many personalities does she have?>

On the fourth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Four chastened colleagues <...And let that be a lesson to you!>
Three uniform cloaks <... More of them!>
Two jealous lovers <Come, on. It'll be fun!>
And a psychopathic secretary <Lady Une, Woman of Many Faces...>

On the fifth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <They ARE rather annoying...>
Four chastened colleagues <...I really don't like those guys...>
Three uniform cloaks <This is good, because my last one got ripped...>
Two jealous lovers <Wufei, put down the sword...>
And a psychopathic secretary <Maybe "And a secretary with an identity
crisis" would be more accurate?>

On the sixth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Six guns-a-smoking <Where did these come from?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <...Although the pilots are cute...>
Four chastened colleagues <...Conniving bastards are always trying to use
me...>
Three uniform cloaks <...And, no, I am not telling why.>
Two jealous lovers <What are you doing, Mirialdo?>
And a psychopathic secretary <Yes, I am aware that it doesn't scan...>

On the seventh day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Seven bottles of Cognac <Ooh... Somebody likes me...>
Six guns-a-smoking <...And who would have shot one round from each? In my
office!>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <Especially that Chinese one.>
Four chastened colleagues <...Someone sould inform them that I am the master
manipulator.>
Three uniform cloaks <Whose are these, anyways?>
Two jealous lovers <UNTIE ME, DAMNIT!!!>
And a psychopathic secretary <Mind you, she is kinda crazy anyways...>

On the eighth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Eight lords-a-leaping <Aren't there supposed to be twelve?>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Now all I need are some glasses>
Six guns-a-smoking <And why is there no blood?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <I didn't need those soldiers, really.>
Four chastened colleagues <And today's award for "Who Can Rat On Th Most
People" goes to...>
Three uniform cloaks <Mirialdo? Do you want one?>
Two jealous lovers <Does this mean Friday's off?>
And a psychopathic secretary <...Now that I think aout it, are there any sane
people in this entire series?>

On the ninth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Nine new shot glasses <Thank you.>
Eight lords-a-leaping <Well, I suppose it's true...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Don't mind if I do.>
Six guns-a-smoking <I'm beginning to think I'm being stalked...>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <You sunk my battleship!>
Four chastened colleagues <Why are you dwelling on this? I have more
important things to do!>
Three uniform cloaks <Why would I need three?>
Two jealous lovers <I do love you, you know... Both of you...>
And a psychopathic secretary <No! We're all obsessive, violent wackos!>

On the tenth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Ten swords-a-shining <Now how about some sheaths?>
Nine new shot glasses <Are these things aerodynamic?>
Eight lords-a-leaping <Treize-sama says, "Jump!">
Seven bottles of Cognac <Alcohol is good for me, I swear!>
Six guns-a-smoking <...By yet another wierdo...>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <Please stop shouting.>
Four chastened colleagues <Cry me a river.>
Three uniform cloaks <Well, I suppose I could find some use for them...>
Two jealous lovers <If it helps, Dragon, I ordered his death a while
ago...>
And a psychopathic secretary <I guess birds of a feather flock
together...>

On the eleventh day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Eleven sheaths-a-um... er... containing <Really, couldn't you have thought of
anything better than that?>
Ten swords-a-shining <I can see myself!>
Nine new shot glasses <...The help can have very bad timing...>
Eight lords-a-leaping <...Or maybe "Leap!" would be better...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <I'm NOT drunk!>
Six guns-a-smoking <Not that I don't like the presents!>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <They get the point, already, yes?>
Four chastened colleagues <Go and sit in the corner until you've learned to
behave.>
Three uniform cloaks <...And for the last time, I'm not telling!>
Two jealous lovers <...And I didn't take him until after you left,
Mirialdo...>
And a psychopathic secretary <...But we're not mono-plumed birds.>

On the twelfth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Twelve servants interrupting <That's it! You're fired!>
Eleven sheaths-a-containing <What do I do with the extra?>
Ten swords-a-shining <Here Dragon, Dragon, Dragon... Want to play?>
Nine new shot glasses <Well, how would you like it if some servant walked in
on you without knocking first?>
Eight lords-a-leaping <...I suppose it doesn't matter...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Not that I'm complaining, but this makes 42 in
all...>
Six guns-a-smoking <...Isn't 42 supposed to be the answer?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <You're a repetitive bitch aren't you?>
Four chastened colleagues <...Children...>
Three uniform cloaks <Warm is good...>
Two jealous lovers <There, see? It's not so bad.>
And a psychopathic secretary <I guess you can't have everything.>

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neko: Well? What did you think?
Treize: I hated it.
neko: I care. I wasn't talking to you, anyways. I was talking to the readers.
Treize: What readers?
neko: Hidoi! There has to be somebody!
Treize: Right. Where is all of this stuff coming from anyways?
neko: Sears. And for the record, I am not a bitch.
Treize: Explain that.
neko: It's impossible. I'm a cat, not a canine. Now go away and come back when you think of an appropriate insult.
Treize: Why? It's not like you have anything else to do.
neko: You know, for a handsome general, you're really quite cruel
Treize: Thank you.
neko: You're welcome. Now finish up.
Treize: *sigh* Why me?
neko: Because everybody loves Treize-sama. This will get me publicity. Do it.
Treize: *sweatdrop* neko-chan, thankfully, does not own Gundam Wing nor the Christmas carol she has so *cough* delightfully mutilated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything I needed to know in life I learned From Gundam Wing

-the quietest ones make the flashiest entrances

-if a guy calls himself "Shinigami", try not to get him pissed

-having forty arabian guys in mobile suits follow you around is not such a bad idea

-glasses are the perfect way to show off a split personality

-having a cute,high-pitched Japanese voice doesn't necessarily make you cute. Especially if you have genetically altered eyebrows

-Blondes have all the fun. Especially when they're temporarily insane.

-it helps your case if you apologize before you kill the enemy

-when a guy says he is going to kill you, it doesn't always mean he will

-Duke Dermail was a prick

-mad scientists are the most hardy people on earth. In particular ones that use a letter of the alphabet in their names.

-when there's a gundam, it's a sure sign all hell's gonna break loose.

-If you end up blowing up a couple of colonies, apologize. It's a sure-fire way to get away with it.

-People will tend to forget your past if you make use of your better personality

-If you have no name, take the name of some dead guy

-7 year old wanna-be dictators are scarier than the real thing

-the gundams. chicks dig the gundams.

-not all wielders of a clerical collar are priests

-"omae o korosu" never works when you want a girl to leave you alone

-Hell hath no fury like an insane arabian boy

-Tanks tops and Spandex shorts are appropriate even in Anarctica

-A guy who wears a funky mask is deffinetly hiding something

-if you want to have a successful militaristic orginization, name all vehicles after signs in the zodiac

-one can be hyper even if one has not consumed caffine in the past month

-Justice rants usually elicit more laughs than not

-Naming your vehicle after your dead wife is ok

-having a lot of hair covering one eye must give one sight problems at some point

-always have two names on hand, a real one and a fake one

-when in doubt, self-destruct

-It IS okay to stand next to the man you love even if he's doing something you don't believe in.

-never underestimate the destructive power of five old guys

-it's ok to be a bitch... as long as you have a nice persona to back it up
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