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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in Gundam Wing Yaoi/Non-Yaoi Alliance (YNA)'s LiveJournal:

Thursday, October 25th, 2001
8:27 pm
Fic Fic Fic Fic
WOW A fic a day, keeps the doctors away


Gundam Wing in Woodshop 101

"Alright, class." Ms. Jameson said. "I know you've all been
working really hard on your projects, and now it's time to show them to the rest
of the class and give an oral report. Quatre, would you like to go first?"

Quatre stood up, carrying his project up to the front of the class. "This
is a spice rack I made for my mother. I rounded off all the corners and edges,
and I used a dark stain on it so it looks nice. I hope my mom finds this to be
very useful."

Ms. Jameson clapped. "Very good, Quatre. Would anyone like to go

Catherine stood up and went to the head of the class. She held up what appeared
to be a lump of wood that was randomly hacked at. "This is the circus
elephant I've been working on. Isn't it great?"

"Um," Ms. Jameson said. "Suppose you went into detail about your
elephant. Like, where the trunk is, and such."

"Oh, okay." She turned it around and pointed at a slight bulge in the
wood. "That there's the trunk, here's the ears, there's the small tusks, I
didn't want to make them too long, in case they broke off, and here's the

Treize leaned towards Trowa and said, "Looks like a pile of crap if you ask

Trowa glared at him, and the rest of the class looked at him. Catherine starts

"I tried so hard!" She sobbed as she ran out of the room. Trowa went
to follow her, but Ms. Jameson stopped him.

"She'll be alright. I'll talk to Treize here later." She said, glaring
at Treize. "Why don't you go next, Trowa?"

"Okay." He said. He picked up his block of wood and went to the front.
"This is my project. It is simple. It is a work of art. Thank you." He
went to sit down.

"Trowa, are you trying to get out of doing this?" Ms. Jameson said.

"No. I sanded it. I kept it simple." Trowa replied.

Ms. Jameson sighed. "Okay, but that brings your grade down. Um, Wufei, why
don't you show us what you made?"

Wufei went up with what looked like two sticks in his hand. "These are my
nunchucks. I made them strong, to put up with wear, unlike women. They are not
strong. They are weak. As with Catherine earlier, they break down at any

"Alright, enough, mister." Ms. Jameson said. "Sit down right now
before I flunk you totally."

Wufei sat, mumbling the whole time about "Taking orders from a woman."
Ms. Jameson took a bottle of asprin from her desk drawer and took two pills.
After a few deep breaths, she said. "Okay. Okay. Who wants to go

Zechs stood up, carrying what looked like a bowl. "I have made a sculpture
dedicated to my one true love."

At this, Noin sighed dreamily.

Zechs turned the bowl upside-down and held it above his head. It is a sculpture
of my helmet. I lovingly crafted it out of-"

That was as far as he got before a flying chunk of wood hit him in the face.

"Ms. Noin!" Ms. Jameson exclaimed. "What is the meaning of

"That...that jerk!" She said. She turned away in her seat, arms

"Unh," Zechs said from the floor. "What'd I do? I'm

"Ms. Noin, you will go next, then you will sit down and stay quiet!"
Ms. Jameson said.

Noin reluctantly got up and carried a sculpture with her. "This is a bust
of MY one true love, Zechs Marquis. Unlike him, I actually care about him, not
his stupid helmet."

"That doesn't look like me at all." Zechs said, finally managing to
get up.

Noin grabbed Zechs's helmet off his head and put it on her bust of him.

"Hey! Give that back!" Zechs said.

"Oohh, I see it now." Hilde said.

"Um, good job, Noin. Sit down now." Ms. Jameson said, popping another
two asprin and chasing it with liquid Mylanta. "Who wants to go next?"

Duo got up and strode to the front of the class. He held up a scythe. "This
is my Shinigami scythe. Of course it's not functional, but it represents me,
Shinigami. Because I am Shinigami, God of Death. Thank you."

Duo strode back to his seat, not noticing that Hilde was turning red and looking
like she could kill with a glance. "I'll...go...next." She said
between clenched teeth. She got up, gripping a long piece of wood, and went to
the front. She brandished the stick, saying, "This is a wooden Samauri
sword. It is functional, and Duo, Honey, if you utter the word
"Shinigami" in my prescence again, I well come after you with it.
Thank you." She sat down.

After taking what looked like a couple of purple Prilosec pills, Ms. Jameson
said, "Okay, um, Sally, how about you? Do you have anything normal to show

Sally went up to the front of the class and hoisted a bust. "This is a bust
of the gorgeous Wufei. I took extra care in the details-"

"Hey, woman!" Wufei yelled. "Have you no shame, woman? No sense
of pride!?"

"Um, forget it, Sally." Ms. Jameson said.

"I can top that!" Treize said. He went up to the front and bumped
Sally to the side. He held up a small statue. "This is a nude statue of
Wufei. I paid much more attention to the details-"

"Oh, the shame, the dishonor!" Wufei exclaimed. He jumped over to
Treize and, wielding his nunchucks, smashed the statue with two blows. Tears
welled up in Treize's eyes.

"Wha? But...I...Time...Fantasy...Nude..." He stammered.

"ALL THREE OF YOU, SIT DOWN!!!" Ms. Jameson said. They complied, and,
after she mixed up a medicinal Kamikaze consisting of Pepto-Bismol, Mylanta,
asprin, Prilosec, and Prozac and Zoloft, and chugging it down, she looked at the

"Okay, who else wants to ruin my day?" She looked around. "Heero,
why don't you go? You can't possibly be any worse than the others."

Heero got up, but without his project. He had left a block of wood on his table.

"This is my project." He said mechanically. He pulled a gun from his
shorts and shot at the block of wood on his table. He stood there for a second,
then went back to his seat.

When Ms. Jameson got done praying, she looked up at her class. "Alright,
who's left?"

Relena bounced out of her seat, practically screeching, "Heeeerrooooo, I
made something for you, oh Heeeeeerrrooooo!"

Instead of going to the front, she went directly to Heero with what seemed to be
a pile of pink pieces of wood. "I made this birdhouse for you! It's a
pretty pink and it's all for you! Don't you like it?"

She put her "birdhouse" on the table in front of Heero. He stared at
it for a few seconds, then he pulled his gun out again and shot it. It exploded
into thousands of pink splinters.

"No." Was all he said. Relena returned to her seat, wide-eyed and

By this time Dorothy was the only one left. "Ms. Jameson? I'm going next,
you might want to watch."

"I might rregret it, but shure, I'll watchuh." Ms. Jameson said, her
Kamikaze taking hold of her.

Dorothy went to the front and held up a statue. "I made a statue of my
darling Quatre Raberba Winner, depicting him as Venus rising from the foam of
the ocean."

Quatre groaned and leaned his head on his forearms, red with embarassment.

"Since I do not believe in dimming his natural beauty with censorship, he
is nude, just like Venus."

"Ohh, nooo..." Quatre moaned, turning redder than anyone thought he

"That was my project, thank you for listening." She sat down, next to
Quatre, and said, "Isn't this a thing of beauty, Quatre?"

"Please stop stalking me," Quatre whimpered.

Duo spoke up. "Hey, look what happened to the teacher."

Ms. Jameson was slumped over her desk, drooling like a madwoman and making
incoherable sounds.

"Um, shouldn't someone do something?" Hilde said.

"I guess I'll get the principal." Noin said.

"Alright, class, listen up. Ms. Jameson is in the hospital recovering after
getting her stomach pumped, so I will take over until she gets better."
Just then a runner came in and handed the principal a note. After reading the
note, he said, "Um, actually, she just put in her letter of resignation.
What did you kids do to her?"

Quatre spoke up. "She asked us to share our projects to the class, and we
did. Say, does her doctor know she mixes drugs? I think she was an alcoholic
before she got this teaching job."

Everyone agreed with him, and the principal just shook his head.

"I don't see what could make her do that. Why don't you show me your

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, October 24th, 2001
5:52 pm
New Fic
I found another fic on my email. Enjoy ^_^
Gundam Dodgeball

"Alright, kiddies, listen up." Mr. Yoshida said. "In gym class
today we will be playing dodgeball. There will be multiple balls going around.
It will be every person for themselves." He went and retrieved the ball
bin. "The balls will be here. Well, get to it!"

"Hey, Hilde!" Duo called out. "I know you won't be able to hit
me, because I am Shinigami, God of Death!"

"Shut up with this whole Shinigami thing, Duo!" Hilde yelled back.
"Tell you what, if you get me out first, I'll be your slave for a month.
But if I get you first, you're my slave for a month."

"You're on!" Duo said.

Zechs was taking off his helmet when Noin approached him.

"Why are you taking off your helmet?" She asked. "It will
probably help you in this game."

"I don't want my precious helmet to get dented." He said.

Noin walked away, muttering darkly under her breath. "You'll be sorry you
ever saw that thing."

Soon they were all lined up, each holding a ball and waiting for the signal to


"Die, Duo!"

"Huh?" Duo turned towards Hilde and barely ducked in time. "Ha
hah! Didn't get me! Shinigami rules!"

"Oh, Heeeeeerrrooooooo!" Relena called. She threw a ball at him. It
didn't quite reach him, but regardless, Heero pulled out his gun and blasted the
ball to bits.

"Heero Yuy! No guns allowed in the gym!" Mr. Yoshida yelled.

"Eeeeeeek!" Relena screeched. Suddenly a ball bounced towards Relena
and hit her on the hip.

"Ow!" She whined. "That hurt! Heero! Save me!"

"Death before dishonor!" Wufei cried, flinging balls all over the

Quatre dodged one and gently lobbed one of his own at Trowa, who was just
standing there.

"Looks like you're out, Trowa." Quatre said.

"Okay." Trowa said, standing off to the side with Relena.

"Oh, you got out too! Now I have someone to talk to!"

Trowa just moved away, and Relena followed him, saying, "So, what's your
favorite color?"

Noin ducked and rolled away as Zechs threw a ball at her. She jumped up and
threw hers at him, yelling, "Die, Zechs Marquis!"

Zechs looked at her. "I thought I was the love of your-Oof!" He said
as her ball hit him in the stomach.

"I thought that stupid helmet was the love of your life." Noin said,
standing over him.

Quatre was throwing balls when Duo sighted him as a target. He went to throw the
ball at him, but Dorothy threw her ball in front of Quatre where it hit Duo's
and knocked it off its course.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" Duo asked.

"I Won't let you harm my, sexy, gorgeous Quatre!" Dorothy said.
"He's goinging to need to be in one piece for what I plan to do to him

Quatre covered his face with his hands. "Dorothy, please leave me
alone." He begged.

"You're all mine later, sweetie. Ow!" She cried as Duo's ball hit her
in the back of the head.

"You're out! Off to the side with you!" Duo said.

Dorothy looked crestfallen, but only for a second before she passed Quatre. She
stopped and leaned in to whisper, "I'll catch you later, sexy." She
patted him on the butt before joining Trowa, Zechs and Relena. Quatre turned
bright red.

"I wish she'd stop stalking me." He muttered.

"Sorry, buddy, can't help you there. Hey, Noin!" Duo cried, throwing a
ball at her. She barely dodged it. Duo shrugged. "Oh well."

Catherine and Hilde were back to back, catching and throwing balls all around.
Hilde turned to Catherine. "Wanna help me get Duo?"

"Okay, sure." Catherine said.

"Die in Hell, Maxwell!" Wufei cried, chasing after Duo.

"Gladlyyyy!" Duo called back happily. Catherine went to throw her ball
at Duo, but she wasn't quick enough. She hit Wufei.

"Oops! Sorry, I was aiming for Duo." She called to him. Wufei hung his
head in shame.

"Taken out by a woman! Oh, the dishonor!" He said, sulking his way to
where everyone else who was out were standing. Sally caught up with him and
tried to comfort him.

"Hey, if it helps, you can thow a ball at me and get me out before you
totally leave the game, sweetie!" She said.

"I'm not going to hit a woman. I don't like fighting weak enemies." He
said. At this Sally got pissed and slammed her ball into Wufei's stomach.

"Weak this, you chauvinistic pig!" She said, then stormed off. Wufei
made his way over to the others.

"Oh well, we can try that again la-Hey!" Hilde said as Duo nailed her
with his ball.

"Hail Shinigami! Worship me! I got ya, Hilde. I guess you're my slave now,
for a whole month."

"Fine." She said, crestfallen.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll like being my slave, especially the kind I want
you to be." Duo said with a wink.

Hilde giggled and went over to the growing group of people who were out. So far
Quatre, Sally, Heero, Catherine, Noin, and Duo were left.

"C'mon, Quatre! You can do it, stud!" Dorothy yelled.

"Heeeerooo! I'll have a present waiting for you if you win!" Relena
offered. Heero gave her a cold stare, and she turned away from him.

"Geez, Mr. Bad Mood. Don't have to take it out on me."

"Get the women out first, so they don't get in the way!" Wufei
shouted. He got pelted with several balls and knocked down.

"Oh the shame." He moaned from the floor.

"Go, Catherine." Trowa said.

"Be careful of my helmet!" Zechs said, worry in his voice.

"Oh, I will." Noin called back in a mocking tone.

"Hey Duo! The faster you beat everybody, the sooner you can put me to
work!" Hilde said.

"I already know what I'm going to make you do when I get through with this
game!" Duo replied.

The remaining players stood, staring at each other, daring each other to make
the first move. Duo was standing beside Heero, and quickly bounced his ball
against Heero's arm. "I guess you're out, buddy." He said. He grabbed
Heero around the shoulders in a quick, friendly hug. "Don't worry, no big
deal, huh?" He looked down at Heero sneering at him, then he pointed his
gun at Duo's face. Duo let go in a hurry.

"Woah! Excuse me!" He said as Heero went over to join the group.
Relena wasted no time in hanging all over him.

"Oh, Heero, that's okay, I still love you!" She said.

"Get off me, now." He growled. She stood up straight.

"Grouchy Goose!" Relena pouted.

Sally made a quick decision and tossed her ball at Quatre. It hit him in the

"You're out!" Sally said.

"Alright!" Dorothy said, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down.
"Oh, you look sad. Come here, I'll make you really happy."

"Oh, no!" Quatre said, quickly moving behind Heero. Dorothy chased him
around Heero for a while before Mr. Yoshida blew his whistle.

"Dorothy, leave Mr. Winner alone!" He roared.

"Poo." Dorothy said.

"Thank you so much!" Quatre practically groveled.

Duo threw his ball at Sally, where it bounced off her onto Catherine. Noin
barely made it away from the ball.

"Double play!" Duo said proudly. Catherine and Sally went over to the
other group.

"Guess it's just you and me, Duo." Noin said.

"For the moment." Duo said, then flung his ball at her. Noin dodged it
and threw hers. Duo also got out of its path. After they both grabbed a ball,
they both threw it at the same time. Both their balls hit each other at the same
time, but Noin's bounced off Duo at an angle, off to the side.

Straight for Zechs' helmet.

"No!" Zechs cried, running to save his helmet. It was too late. Noin's
ball hit it and sent it crashing against the wall and onto the floor.

"Ochi-chan," Zechs said, kneeling beside the dented helmet. He started
weeping, unaware of what was happening behind him.

"It-it's a tie." Quatre said.

"No! Mine hit her first!" Duo said.

"No, mine hit you first!" Noin shot back.

They were squaring off to fight for the title of 'Winner' when the bell rang.

"Oh darn, class is over." Noin said. She stuck her hand out.
"Good game, huh?"

Duo shook her hand. "Yeah. Good game."

Everyone filed out of the gym, chatting.

"So, are you going to Home Ec. now, Dorothy?" Relena asked.

"Nope. I'm following my sex-oozing Quatre to music class."

"Eep." Quatre said, ready to bolt.

Zechs was still weeping by his helmet when Noin grabbed him and hauled him up.
"C'mon, you can get another one, although I'd prefer you not."

"Ochi-chan!" Zechs cried as he reached for his helmet.

"So, Duo, you have lunch next, right?" Hilde said.

"Yep. What do you say we go to the bathroom and you can start your work
right away?"

"Hey, Quatre, doesn't that sound like a good idea for us to do too?"
Dorothy said, latching onto him.


Current Mood: dorky
Sunday, October 21st, 2001
6:17 pm
ooo I found more. The wonderful things you find when you are cleaning out your hard drive
Treize-sama's Twelve Days of Gundam Wing
by Neko Chan

On the first day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
A psychopathic secretary
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Treize-sama's Twelve Days of Gundam Wing
by Neko Chan

On the first day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
A psychopathic secretary <Eep! Run!>
On the second day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Two jealous lovers <This is what I get for not planning ahead...>
And a psychopathic secretary <Definitely a nutbar.>

On the third day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Three uniform cloaks <Just what I always wanted!>
Two jealous lovers <Maybe we could threesome?>
And a psychopathic secretary <How many personalities does she have?>

On the fourth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Four chastened colleagues <...And let that be a lesson to you!>
Three uniform cloaks <... More of them!>
Two jealous lovers <Come, on. It'll be fun!>
And a psychopathic secretary <Lady Une, Woman of Many Faces...>

On the fifth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <They ARE rather annoying...>
Four chastened colleagues <...I really don't like those guys...>
Three uniform cloaks <This is good, because my last one got ripped...>
Two jealous lovers <Wufei, put down the sword...>
And a psychopathic secretary <Maybe "And a secretary with an identity
crisis" would be more accurate?>

On the sixth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Six guns-a-smoking <Where did these come from?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <...Although the pilots are cute...>
Four chastened colleagues <...Conniving bastards are always trying to use
Three uniform cloaks <...And, no, I am not telling why.>
Two jealous lovers <What are you doing, Mirialdo?>
And a psychopathic secretary <Yes, I am aware that it doesn't scan...>

On the seventh day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Seven bottles of Cognac <Ooh... Somebody likes me...>
Six guns-a-smoking <...And who would have shot one round from each? In my
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <Especially that Chinese one.>
Four chastened colleagues <...Someone sould inform them that I am the master
Three uniform cloaks <Whose are these, anyways?>
Two jealous lovers <UNTIE ME, DAMNIT!!!>
And a psychopathic secretary <Mind you, she is kinda crazy anyways...>

On the eighth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Eight lords-a-leaping <Aren't there supposed to be twelve?>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Now all I need are some glasses>
Six guns-a-smoking <And why is there no blood?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <I didn't need those soldiers, really.>
Four chastened colleagues <And today's award for "Who Can Rat On Th Most
People" goes to...>
Three uniform cloaks <Mirialdo? Do you want one?>
Two jealous lovers <Does this mean Friday's off?>
And a psychopathic secretary <...Now that I think aout it, are there any sane
people in this entire series?>

On the ninth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Nine new shot glasses <Thank you.>
Eight lords-a-leaping <Well, I suppose it's true...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Don't mind if I do.>
Six guns-a-smoking <I'm beginning to think I'm being stalked...>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <You sunk my battleship!>
Four chastened colleagues <Why are you dwelling on this? I have more
important things to do!>
Three uniform cloaks <Why would I need three?>
Two jealous lovers <I do love you, you know... Both of you...>
And a psychopathic secretary <No! We're all obsessive, violent wackos!>

On the tenth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Ten swords-a-shining <Now how about some sheaths?>
Nine new shot glasses <Are these things aerodynamic?>
Eight lords-a-leaping <Treize-sama says, "Jump!">
Seven bottles of Cognac <Alcohol is good for me, I swear!>
Six guns-a-smoking <...By yet another wierdo...>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <Please stop shouting.>
Four chastened colleagues <Cry me a river.>
Three uniform cloaks <Well, I suppose I could find some use for them...>
Two jealous lovers <If it helps, Dragon, I ordered his death a while
And a psychopathic secretary <I guess birds of a feather flock

On the eleventh day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Eleven sheaths-a-um... er... containing <Really, couldn't you have thought of
anything better than that?>
Ten swords-a-shining <I can see myself!>
Nine new shot glasses <...The help can have very bad timing...>
Eight lords-a-leaping <...Or maybe "Leap!" would be better...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <I'm NOT drunk!>
Six guns-a-smoking <Not that I don't like the presents!>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <They get the point, already, yes?>
Four chastened colleagues <Go and sit in the corner until you've learned to
Three uniform cloaks <...And for the last time, I'm not telling!>
Two jealous lovers <...And I didn't take him until after you left,
And a psychopathic secretary <...But we're not mono-plumed birds.>

On the twelfth day of Gundam my true love gave to me:
Twelve servants interrupting <That's it! You're fired!>
Eleven sheaths-a-containing <What do I do with the extra?>
Ten swords-a-shining <Here Dragon, Dragon, Dragon... Want to play?>
Nine new shot glasses <Well, how would you like it if some servant walked in
on you without knocking first?>
Eight lords-a-leaping <...I suppose it doesn't matter...>
Seven bottles of Cognac <Not that I'm complaining, but this makes 42 in
Six guns-a-smoking <...Isn't 42 supposed to be the answer?>
FIVE BLOODY GUNDAMS!!!!!! <You're a repetitive bitch aren't you?>
Four chastened colleagues <...Children...>
Three uniform cloaks <Warm is good...>
Two jealous lovers <There, see? It's not so bad.>
And a psychopathic secretary <I guess you can't have everything.>

neko: Well? What did you think?
Treize: I hated it.
neko: I care. I wasn't talking to you, anyways. I was talking to the readers.
Treize: What readers?
neko: Hidoi! There has to be somebody!
Treize: Right. Where is all of this stuff coming from anyways?
neko: Sears. And for the record, I am not a bitch.
Treize: Explain that.
neko: It's impossible. I'm a cat, not a canine. Now go away and come back when you think of an appropriate insult.
Treize: Why? It's not like you have anything else to do.
neko: You know, for a handsome general, you're really quite cruel
Treize: Thank you.
neko: You're welcome. Now finish up.
Treize: *sigh* Why me?
neko: Because everybody loves Treize-sama. This will get me publicity. Do it.
Treize: *sweatdrop* neko-chan, thankfully, does not own Gundam Wing nor the Christmas carol she has so *cough* delightfully mutilated.

Everything I needed to know in life I learned From Gundam Wing

-the quietest ones make the flashiest entrances

-if a guy calls himself "Shinigami", try not to get him pissed

-having forty arabian guys in mobile suits follow you around is not such a bad idea

-glasses are the perfect way to show off a split personality

-having a cute,high-pitched Japanese voice doesn't necessarily make you cute. Especially if you have genetically altered eyebrows

-Blondes have all the fun. Especially when they're temporarily insane.

-it helps your case if you apologize before you kill the enemy

-when a guy says he is going to kill you, it doesn't always mean he will

-Duke Dermail was a prick

-mad scientists are the most hardy people on earth. In particular ones that use a letter of the alphabet in their names.

-when there's a gundam, it's a sure sign all hell's gonna break loose.

-If you end up blowing up a couple of colonies, apologize. It's a sure-fire way to get away with it.

-People will tend to forget your past if you make use of your better personality

-If you have no name, take the name of some dead guy

-7 year old wanna-be dictators are scarier than the real thing

-the gundams. chicks dig the gundams.

-not all wielders of a clerical collar are priests

-"omae o korosu" never works when you want a girl to leave you alone

-Hell hath no fury like an insane arabian boy

-Tanks tops and Spandex shorts are appropriate even in Anarctica

-A guy who wears a funky mask is deffinetly hiding something

-if you want to have a successful militaristic orginization, name all vehicles after signs in the zodiac

-one can be hyper even if one has not consumed caffine in the past month

-Justice rants usually elicit more laughs than not

-Naming your vehicle after your dead wife is ok

-having a lot of hair covering one eye must give one sight problems at some point

-always have two names on hand, a real one and a fake one

-when in doubt, self-destruct

-It IS okay to stand next to the man you love even if he's doing something you don't believe in.

-never underestimate the destructive power of five old guys

-it's ok to be a bitch... as long as you have a nice persona to back it up

Current Mood: ditzy
12:19 pm
Paging Dr. Freud .... *Yaoi* PS: It is really long >_
Paging Dr. Freud

AUTHOR: Jay/dem. Contactable at yajie@snet.net


Dr. Robinson massaged the knots in his neck and stared at his crisp
cream-colored memo pad. He had to get rid of every single pad defiled by that Catalonia girl's profane doodlings (he didn't find necrophilia amusing in the least), so he had indulged a whim and bought fresh memos, personalized just for him. He admired the ornate "Dr. Robinson's Looney Bin Halfway House" at the top.

His next appointment would be walking through his doors in 5, 4, 3, 2...

The door clicked open and shut. Heero Yuy walked in, perfectly punctual, as always. Well, some people would say punctual. Others would say painfully anal retentive. But it made no difference to Dr. Robinson-- after all, he was here for the satisfaction of being paid-- Mr. Yuy was quite affluent, amassing funds from OZ, which in turn had amassed their fortune in quite the same way. But as he said, none of that mattered. His checks never bounced. Not even for that one
emergency three hour session last week. They'd made a breakthrough.

Heero had cried.

That is to say, he was crying in the inside. What Heero had actually done was draw out a gun from the depths of his spandex and aim the barrel at Dr. Robinson's head. But money speaks louder than actions. It said something like: chi-ching.

Heero perched himself onto the couch, and then grunting, lay down.

"It's happening again," he said, sighing.

Dr. Robinson folded his hands benevolently. "With Duo?"

"...yes. His perpetual lust is ruining our relationship... his constant
craving for... for..."

"Yes, Heero?"

"CHOCOLATE!" Heero's anguished wail rang in the room. "Do you
know how frickin' expensive Toblerone is in factory bulk size at department store price? Or how hard it is to get Godiva truffle stains out of spandex?"

Dr. Robinson's left cheek twitched, minutely. This was going to be one of those,


"...and puppy dogs, and kitties, and fuzzy happy things, and sunsets, and
grass, and the sky, and the stars, and walks on the beach, and pretty flowers, and interior decorating..." Duo happily spouted a long, long list.

Dr. Robinson said, "I see..." He flipped through his notes. "And
all of this makes you want to, as you put it, 'boink' Heero."

Duo shrugged. "Just about. Although, I'm pretty insatiable about chocolate too."

"Duo, do you think this might have something to do with your

Duo blinked, large violet eyes perplexed. "If a man loves Heero, sex, and chocolate, shouldn't his natural impulse be to combine all those things-- like, sex with Heero in chocolate?"

"How does Heero feel about this?"

"Oh, he never complains, unless he's the one stuck cleaning up. And I'm
pretty bombed after one of those sessions, lemme tell you."

Dr. Robinson made a note in his memo pad: NYMPHOMANIAC. It was underlined several times in red pen. "Have you ever considered seeking

Duo's jaw dropped. "For what?"

Dr. Robinson considered. "Becoming aroused when reading the dictionary
would qualify you as mentally disturbed."



"Once, he dragged me into a janitorial closet at the Smerchey's Chocolate Factory and screwed me, frankly, senseless..." Heero waved a hand, wearily."I knew it was a mistake: Duo in an enclosed area with large vats of chocolate. Have you ever gone skinny dipping in chocolate? It's an interesting experience."


Dr. Robinson stared at Trowa's one visible eye. Trowa continued, unperturbed.

"And that was the end of Fuzzy Bunny Lumpkins."


"I don't think you really hate women, do you Wufei?"

The Chinese boy fidgeted with his belt buckle. "...dunno."

"Now, Wufei..."


There was a long pause as Dr. Robinson pondered his net worth. "Wufei,
let's talk about your mother, okay?"

Wufei glanced at him balefully, a long-suffering look. "What does ma have to do with anything?" There was a slight defensive note in his voice.

Ah. Jackpot. Had the good doctor been alone, he would have folded his heads and whispered, "Excellent..."


He watched as Wufei finally crumpled at the base of the stuffed figure that was supposed to be his mother. He had glared, initially. Talked, a little. Screamed. Hit. Kicked. Bit. And finally, he lay curled in a little fetal ball blubbering, "I'm sorry I couldn't be the daughter you wanted..."

Dr. Robinson doodled little dollar signs. Maybe he'd get a new memo pad with those around the border.


"More tea?" Quatre offered.

Dr. Robinson declined. Why had that boy brought in his tea set?

Quatre's eyes tightened, just a minuscule amount. Hadn't Trowa had it his Pre-Zero Expression?

Uh-oh. Shouldn't he have pupils? He thought about Dorothy, uneasily.

Zero Expression finally settled onto Quatre's normally friendly face as he whispered, "Mr. Tea Cup won't like that. Mission: destroy."


"No," Dr. Robinson assured Trowa wearily. "The check will be

"I'm very sorry, doctor. But now you understand?"

"Yes." Dr. Robinson glanced down at his wheelchair. "I can
understand breaking my legs, but was forcing down that terrible concoction of
ginger root tea necessary?"

"He's very passionate about his tea," Trowa murmured, and then added:
"If he only extended that same passion to everything... what do you think, Doc?"

"I think you're a very complex young man, Trowa."

Trowa looked mournful. "No one understands me. It's like... I'm so sad
inside... but I'm a clown, you know? A SAD CLOWN." He looked triumphant.
"Probably the first in history."

There was an awkward silence. "Yes, Trowa... of course... now, let's
discuss your dreams..."

"I have a dream where I'm falling..."


Wufei had gone into regression. He was back in his "anger" phase.

"Thought you could break me, didn't you?" He hissed at the lumpy
figure hanging from the ceiling. "Thought you could marry me off to Meiran, wear the skirt in the relationship. WELL, CHANG WUFEI WEARS A SKIRT FOR NO ONE!"


"Yes," Treize said, tapping his fingers and looking at his therapist.
"And he came out in a little Catholic schoolgirl outfit, ruffled skirt and everything. But... Wufei looks great in fishnets."


"I blame your father," Dr. Robinson said. "He was impressing his
pacifist ideals on someone who was born to fight."

Zechs sighed in relief.


"I blame your mother," Dr. Robinson said. "She insisted on a
traditional hetero marriage in order to suppress your homosexual urges."

Wufei sighed in relief.


"I blame your detergent," Dr. Robinson said. "Schnide never gets
chocolate stains out."

Heero sighed in relief.


"And sawdust makes me want to boink Heero, and soft rock, and the smell of nailpolish, and Monet prints, and the smell of new paper, and turpentine...health food bars..." Duo kept rambling.

Dr. Robinson sighed in frustration.


"I'm really sorry about that, Dr. Robinson," Quatre said. "I just
get a little weird sometimes."

"It's okay," the doctor replied. "Now, let's try to delve into
this... tea fascination. Tell me about your life."

"Well, I was conceived in the year after colony 180..."


[five hours later]

"And as Rashid offered me my first hit of tea, I think I was hooked."

Suddenly, necrophilia was very funny. Dr. Robinson looked up from his doodle of Wufei wearing a schoolgirl outfit. He was drawing the lines for the fishnets.

"I'm afraid we're out of time. I'll see you next week, Mr. Winner."


"Once, he was waiting in the bathtub for me... he'd filled it to the brim with melted Godiva chocolate. Do you know what the dry cleaner's bill was? Atrocious!" Heero sounded disgusted. "I've taken to wearing browns so that the stains aren't as noticeable! Well, session's up... gotta go home, get boinked by Duo."

Dr. Robinson coughed. "Maybe you should introduce him to a new kink.
Like... say..." He glanced at his doodle. Wufei and Treize were dressed as Cleopatra and Anthony, reclining on an ornate couch. He emphasized the lines around Wufei's eyes: eyeliner. "Crossdressing?"

"I don't know," Heero said, doubtfully.

He sighed and looked at his *other* doodle. "How about necrophilia?"



"Yes, Heero?"

"What is necrophilia?"

Duo giggled madly. "Well, Hee-chan... I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you... and then, *you* know..."


"Of course I'm a natural blond!" Zechs' glare would have melted

"I can see your roots," Dr. Robinson deadpanned.

Zechs' burst into tears. "I was just trying to be a good son," he
said, tearfully.


"...and I'm falling, and falling, and falling, but there's no net under the tightrope to catch me..."


"Duo, your psychiatric evaluation came in."

"Cool! What does it say?"

"Well, you're a acarophiliac, achluophiliac, acousticophiliac..."


Dr. Robinson looked slightly perturbed. "Quatre, your affinity for gangster rap is beginning to... upset Trowa. Why is it that you need this new...persona?"

Quatre shifted the gold chains around his neck and sniffed. "Yo, biatch, I'm representin' the NEW COAST, yo, it's like, mergin' of da west siiiide and east siiiiide, and it's like, BIGGIE AND TUPAC LIVE! Yo."


"Watch yo' back, biatch."


"...apodysophiliac, apotemnophiliac, asphyxiaphiliac..."


"Duo enjoys WHAT?"

"Aanthropophagolagnia. Cannibalistic rape."


Wufei glared daggers at Treize. "You had to tell him about aspartame

Treize sighed. "Wufei, being covered with Equal and having you lick it off was initially amusing... but your frequent convulsions from aspartame poisoning are hardly erotic."

"Kisama! Fine! Don't you DARE complain if I get lovehandles, though!"


Duo sighed. "I do it because I never want our sex lives to be like Trowa's and Quatre's."

"What's that like?"

"You know, wham-bam-thank-you-very-much-ma'am." Duo paused.
"Although, it's become more interesting with the addition of those Tupac tapes."
"I see."


"...batrachophiliac, bromidrophiliac, brontophiliac, cheimaphiliac..."


"He's a staurophiliac too?!"


"What does that mean?"

"He gets aroused by crosses or crucifixes."

Heero paled.


"It is not wham-bam!" Trowa said indignantly. "I haven't been getting any at ALL for the last three months!"


"Quatre, if you don't want to help yourself, why are you here?"

"'Cause I'm the Big Poppa of Bling Bling, foo'!"


[five hours from initial reading]

"And finally, Mr. Maxwell, you're a zelophiliac."


"Mr. Maxwell..."

"Yeah, I know, I know: put it back in your pants."


Dr. Robinson filed away the last check in his drawer. Ah, early retirement fund... life was good.

He checked his clock and smiled.

The group session would be coming along in a few hours. He chuckled and picked up a pencil. Maybe that Catalonia girl was onto something. Doodling was certainly cathartic, and now that he thought about it...necrophilia was at least snicker-worthy.

Current Mood: awake
12:16 pm
LOL @ What's Up With Wufei?
That was sooo funny ^_^ Yes I might be a Relena hater * feels the glares* -_-;;; but I must agree that was hiliarous. HEHEH!!! Once I can find a fic ( yes it is yaoi ) called Calling Dr. Freud or something I will post it for your reading pleasure. ^_^

Current Mood: silly
Sunday, August 5th, 2001
4:23 pm
What's Up With Wufei?
What's Up with Wufei?
By: Jerr Conner

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or Mark from
Empire Records, or the Rocky Horror Picture Show,
so please don't sue me!

WARNING: Contains one element of Yuri, one
elements of yaoi, and three elements of non-yaoi
and alot of out-of-character acting.

Relena was freaked, what the hell was Wufei doing now?
Lately, he had been acting...well...odd! Wufei was
actually...EGADS...SMILING! Wufei never smiled! Then
there were the roses that she found, correction, rose
petals, all over her bed. 'What's up with Wufei?' she
thought to herself. In fact she was also wondering
what was up with three other people as well, they'd
all been acting strange for this whole week...

* * *

Flashback to a week ago

Wufei just kept staring, and staring, and staring at
his new-found love interest. He never thought it
possible...him...in love with Relena! Why did he have
to fall in love with her? That's what Heero had asked
a day ago when he caught Wufei staring at his girl.
Now normally Heero would kill someone for thinking
that they could get his girlfriend, but Heero didn't
think Wufei was a threat.

Wufei snuck over to Relena's closet when she left her
room. He normally didn't like the color of a pink
room...but anything for his beloved Relena. Wufei
opened the closet door and picked up an armful of
shoes. He snickered to himself as he tiptoed away with
the shoes. All these lovely little momentoes of Relena
Darlian/Peacecraft. When he finally got to his own
room in the Castle of the Cinq Kingdom, he opened the
door. Can we say un-healthy obbssession? In the room
was pictures of Relena plastered all over the wall,
and their was a life-size doll in the corner of the
room dressed like her. Wufei and Dorothy had made a
secret club recently dedicated to their beloved

Wufie dumped the shoes on the floor and started to
glue them in any place. He so delicately put a pair
onto the life-size Relena doll. When he turned around,
after he was done with his work, he encountered

"Ahh, Wufei, I see you have found Miss Relena's shoes
somewhere, may I inquire how you have found them?"

Wufei's face had a devilish smile, "I snuck into the
Great One's room, and took them. Soon Dorothy, very
soon, she will be ours. Yuy will never have her!"

With that they both let out evil laughs as their faces
contorted into odd shapes and looks...it was all
coming to plan.


In Relena's room

"Duo, what are you doing in here?"

Duo jumped up and made a noise that sounded like an
eep when he heard Relena talk. He also almost dropped
some of the clothing he had stuffed into his shirt.
"Oh nothing, Relena, I was just wondering if you'd
like to go to the garden with me."

"Well sorry Duo, I have lots of work today, I'll take
a raincheck though."

Before Duo left the room, he slid by Relena's drawer
when she wasn't looking and stole one of her sweaters.
He left the room in glee, now he owned a part, or
several parts, of Relena Darlian. He remembered when
he first saw her, a delicate angel whose long golden
hair was being blown into the breeze. He almost cried,
he was about to cry. So lovely, very very lovely. And
oh how he wished he could ask her for make-up tips!


Quatre's Room

Quatre got ready to go to the garden and have his
lunch, when he heard Dorothy enter the room. "Quatre
Raberba Winner, we meet again..."

Quatre rollled his eyes in annoyance, it was the
Relena-Wannabe (AS if she could replace Relena he
thought to himself) and his arch-nemisis, Dorothy
Catolonia. "Dorothy, not now..."

"I challenge you to a duel..."

"NO MORE DUELS!" he screamed.

"But only I will have Relena..."

He really would like to shoot her, that or dump
Dorothy in a vat of acid and hear her squeal, the only
other opposition other than Yuy to Relena. He really
loved Relena. Well all was goin according to plan

* * *


Relena decided to go and see what was up, she picked
the lock to Wufei's room, and what a shock she had.
Pictures everywhere! Her shoes...her missing shoes!
What are they doing here? she asked herself mentally.
Then she noticed a drawing of a Chibi-Wufei snuggling
with a Chibi-Relena, who was saying, Hold me my lovely
Wuffie Ooffy! "Wuffie ooffy?" she asked out loud.

This was starting to freak her out...
Freaking her out so bad that she was about ready to
scream out loud, but she had to remain calm. No use in
letting her stalker know that she knew that he was
stalking her. So Relena got up, then she turned around,
and ran straight into Wufei! "Well my Beloved, you
have found me and Dorothy's secret!"

Relena's eyes went wide, DOROTHY! Then she
remembered, yep, Dorothy wanted to be so much like
her that she probably developed an obssession with
Relena. "Stay away from me you freaks!"

Relena tried to run, but Wufei grabbed her and said
with the most evil-sounding voice and the most happy
expression on his face, "But I'm your Wuffie Ooofy!"

Just then, Duo entered the room. But Duo wasn't
dressed like Duo normally dressed. Relena let out a
gasp, Duo was wearing her favorite sweater and skirt!
What was he doing!? Then, Duo spoke, "Wufei, if
she's gonna be anyone's girlfriend, she's gonna be mine,
Pally!" (Yep, stole that from english dub, the Pally part)

Relena couldn't believe this, Duo, a crush on her!?
What was next...Quatre!? That question was answered
as one of Wufei's windows broke and in came swinging
Quatre, on a rope. As soon as he landed, he withdrew
a pistol and aimed at Wufei. "Let her go, she is mine!"

Relena couldn't take anymore, she immediately bought
her knee up and Wufei went crashing to the floor.
Quatre, caught off guard by surprise, stepped
backwards, and tripped over the life-size Relena doll.
Relena quickly caught the gun that flew out of Quat's

She held the gun up as Duo, Wufei, and Quatre lined
up side-by-side. "Relena," said Wufei, in a too-calm
voice, "Give us the gun, we won't hurt you..."

"NO! Get away from me!"

"But, I'm your Wuffie Ooffy!"

"Yea," said Duo, "It's obvious she loves me...after all I
have her fashion sense in mind..."

Relena almost gagged, Duo looked so not GOOD in
her clothing...maybe that dress she had when she was
queen of the world, but her normal clothing!? Now she
knew he was OBSSESSED! Anyway, that eye-
liner...where did he learn how to apply make-up...at the
Mimi Bobeck School of Beauty!? (Author's Note:
Mimi is a character on Drew Carey)

She definitely had to get out of the room, then appeard
Dorothy, with a whip. The whip made it's whipping
noise as it encircled the gun and pulled it out of
Relena's hand. "OUCH! That hurt Dorothy!"

"Oh Miss Relena, we can't have you leaving now that
you know all of our secrets..."

They all quickly tied her to a chair. Relena wished that
she had had a chance to slap Dorothy when she had the
chance, and shave off those god-awful cockroache
eyebrows! But all was not going according to
plan...Quatre was not going to get to woo Relena off of
her feet...Duo wasn't going to be Relena's lover and a
Relena-Look alike...Wufei wasn't going to be called
Wuffie Ooffy...and Dorothy wasn't going to get to be
anything like Relena...all because the OTHERS
inteferred! Everyone was thinking the same thing except
Relena, Relena was thinking, WHAT IS IT ABOUT

Everyone was thinking the others, the ones who loved
Relena as well! "Quatre..." began Dorothy, "Rebarba
Winner, I challenge you to a duel..."

Quatre took out a fencing sword, and the duel
commenced, Duo and Wufei were just wrestling each
other on the floor like 8-year olds arguing over legos!
Relena really wished she didn't have to watch this
pathetic display over her. Then, she remembered
something, she had a pocket knife in her back pocket.
Not a good enough knife to fight off her captors but
nice enough to cut rope with. She worked her hand into
her back pocket, pulled out the knife, and cut the
ropes. She ran out of the room at top speed, the
stalkers followed her...

Mark as they all ran past him. (Author's note: Mark is a
character on Empire Records, I just qouted him)

Relena ran down the stairs, only to see Wufei jump in
front of her, why was he wearing fishnet stalkings on his
legs!? "You better wise up..."

Oh NO! He was qouting Rocky Horror! (Author's
note: For those who don't know, Rocky Horror Picture
Show is a musical from the late 60's that was made into
a film, that became a cult classic) She bought up her
knee again, and he keeled over again. She kept on
running down the stairs. Unfortunate for Dorothy and
Quatre, they both were about to pounce on her when
she stopped, they came falling down the stairs. They
drew their swords and started sword-fighting again.

Relena ran out the door, and encountered Heero.

Heero hugged Relena, and asked her what was going
on, and after he heard what she said, a gigantic
sweatdrop formed on the back of her head as he held
his right fist up high, squinted his eyes into tiny slots, and
screamed Omae O Korusu at the 4 stalkers of Relena
as he ran into the house. (Author's note: Omae O
Korusu=I will kill you)

Relena couldn't even watch, all she heard was
THUMP! SMACK! THWAP! as Heero, her hero,
beat up the stalkers. When everyone emerged from the
castle, Duo, Dorothy, Quatre, and Wufei were sporting
black eyes, bruises, bloody noses, and split lips as they
were commanded by Heero. Stars appeared in
Relena's eyes as she clasped her hands together and
told Heero thank you.

"SAY IT!" barked out Heero.

Together the stalkers said it, "We're sorry Miss

"That's better," said Heero.

He put his arm around Relena as they walked to
Heero's motorcycle. When they were safely seated,
Relena gunned the engine, and off they were! Finally,
they all looked at each other. "There's no JUSTICE!"
Ranted Wufei. Everyone started crying...crying alot,
waterfalls of tears.

Then, Trowa appeared. He let out a gasp as he saw
Quatre. "Quatre, let's get you to your bedroom, and I'll
clean you right up."

Trowa grabbed Quatre's hand and off they went.

Hilde came around, and saw Duo, "Not AGAIN!
Next time, use my clothes!"

She grabbed his hand and off they went.

Then Sally Po came around the corner and saw Wufei,
"Awww, my poor little Wuffie Ooffy! Let me take you
home and fix you up!"

She picked him up in her arms as he cried into her

Then Dorothy asked out loud, "Who am I to be paired
up with!? There's no one left!!"

Just then, a boy walked out to the court-yard, he had
blond hair and cockroache eyebrows. "Oh," said
Dorothy, "He'll do..."

The End

By The WAY: anyone who can draw Fanart, I'd love to see some scenes from my story. i would especially laugh if i saw a picture of Duo in Relena's clothing. (Especially the DRESS! Queen of the World one)
Saturday, July 21st, 2001
12:47 pm
Uhg I'm such an ass... I lost one of Sandrocks weapons. >.
Thursday, July 19th, 2001
10:21 am
What's Your Favorite Gundam Wing Video?
What's your favorite Gundam Wing Music Video? I've only seen one so far, and I loved it. It's called Invincible.

Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, July 13th, 2001
4:06 pm
Welcome to the new members
Welcome to the group. Just remember this is supposed to be a peaceful place so don't get in fights, please ;C)

Current Mood: happy
Thursday, July 12th, 2001
3:23 am
YAY! Uploaded! XD
Deathscythe Hell Custom:

Sandrock Custom:
3:09 am
YAY! Go me! I got another member! Woohoo! XD I rock! buaha. Yeah, so we're supposed to talk about GW on here RIGHT?! Har, yeah well today I got some toys! Toys-R-Us rules! I don't care if I'm the only person over 10 but under 20 there! XD lol I love it there. I want to buy one some day and ride around on the bikes passing out lollipops. x_X Okay well I went off on a tangent there now didn't I? Well as I was saying I got two new toys to add to my growing collection OF COOL GUNDAM WING STUFF! XD Hee I think I'll use that virtue.whatever thing and post the pics...some of them....blah I'll add them in another post...soon....once I get them uploaded.
2:36 am
oh OH! AM I YOUR FIRST MEMEMBER?! *PROUD* Oh oh wow...I can make Aimee join too *ponders* yes and Jazzie...maybe even a few more people! SPiFFY EH?! Oh oh... *looks at entries* HEY HEY! I LIKE THAT SONG! "'till I hear it from you" XD
3x4 is the CUTEST pairing EVER! Buaha I like 1x2 a lot.. Probably more, at least I read more 1x2 fanfics.. but there is a but of a lack of 3x4 = / anyway buaha. Hope you don't mind a few 'sane people on here! ^_-
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
4:17 pm
My Favorite Coupling in Gundam Wing, or one of my Favorites.
I love the 3x4 Coupling (Quatre and Trowa). It's a fun coupling, and it always works out in stories if you think about it. Not only that, but let's not forget, Bishounen makes Anime go round, hehe. (But that's not the only reason why I watch Anime, although it could work if Anime has no redeemiing qualities)

Current Mood: amused
10:59 am
Yay! It's up!
Now I just need some members for this community. I hope I get at least a few members.

Current Mood: amused
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